Ohio Girl

I flew out of cleveland in first class seats. It was the first time in my life that i have flown first class and likely the last. The hows and whys of how it happened are not important. I was very happy to see the nice, wide leather seats for my nice, wide ass. The ample leg room made me giddy. The hot towel felt like melting butter on my ever-so-slightly hung over head. The meal was served with real cutlerly and complimentary wine; your choice of white or red.

The people were complete a-holes, but maybe that was luck of the draw and had nothing to do with their first class, flight status at all.

The first leg was fine. I landed in Houston and experienced immediate afro-effect from the humidity that seeped into the airport from the outside. I had some time to kill and enjoyed the services of the shiatsu massage chair in one of the shops. I bought an overpriced neck pillow as my neck has finally grown old enough that such a device is necessary for extended seat-seating. I texted my niece who is still getting over the fact that she finally has a cell phone. I observed a man in a BMW t-shirt and worn, leather loafers giving a sermon over the phone. He talked about the blessings of Jesus in low tones at first, but gradually worked himself up to arm-waving and loud Amens that startled everyone in the area. I waited for plain-clothes air marshals to tackle him, but they never came.

The flight from Houston was a test of endurance. A six hour flight turned to nine hours with an unscheduled fuel stop in Seattle. The movies were bad. The hot towels ran out. My seat mate was ruder than the first. My lack of sleep kicked in hard. I dozed for a bit and woke up just as we began our descent into Anchorage. It was hard to take in what i saw; miles and miles of snow-covered moutains.

I have seen mountains before, but nothing like this. This was wild and endless. This was Alaska.

The next morning I was still trying to take it all in. We drove from Anchorage to Seward and made the 2 hour trip stretch out past five. We stopped at mountain outlooks, streams, rivers, inlets. We drove through tiny hamlets shaking off the snow of winter. We visited a conservation center–free on Mother’s day–and watched Alaskans and their mothers while they gazed at the bears, elk, moose, and caribou on display. Two black bears stood straight up to spar playfully; looking more like boys in bear suits than bears.

We drove out to Exit Glacier. The last bit of road was closed due to the snow that had not yet receded. We walked a ways in past piles of Moose pellets with owls hooting from the trees. When the trail became impassable we stopped and turned circles to abosrb the 360 degree view.

Rain and cold blew into Seward as we did causing fog to hover all around the peaks. I typically hate rain but it was hard to hate anything about the scenery. That feeling persisted into our boat tour today. It was shortened to 4 hours instead of 8 due to 16-foot waves out on the open water.

Again, it was hard to feel cheated.

Almost immediately a Humpack Whale came into view. I squealed–literally–at the sight of it coming up and going back down waving its big tail in the air. He was followed by Mountain Goats that scaled the cliffs as we floated by and porpoises that played in the boat’s wake. Bald Eagles sat in the trees and dozens of Steller sea lions rested on rock
outcroppings created by the massive earthquake of 1964.

We pulled up to Bear Glacier, before turning around, to take in the blue of the ice and the glacial air. Rain turned frozen and big, blue chunks floated out in the distance. I was soaking wet and cold to the bone, but also entirely warmed.